Mind Your Manners - Local Style!

For those who grew up in the Islands, there's a certain etiquette that we proscribe to.  Remove your shoes before entering a house, hugs not handshakes, and how we greet each other.  Over the next few months, let's explore some of those customs - let's start off with - visiting someone's house!


E Komo Mai - Come Inside!

The House Visit

First and most important - never show up ahead of time!  In Hawai'i, when the invitation states, "5:00 p.m." - that means "show up at 6:00 p.m." This is known as "Hawaiian time."  It allows the host/hostess to finish hiding the dirty dishes and get a head start on the drinks!

When you arrive at the hale (house)  - never take the choice parking space unless you need assistance.  If you have heavy things to bring in, recruit a few people to kokua (help), then move your car.  Announce yourself, then remove your shoes and leave them at the front door.  When leaving, do not upscale your footwear!  Greet the host/hostess with a hug and a hearty "Howzit!"

Traditional New Years Day Party with kodamatsu and mochi!

Never visit someone empty-handed - even if the invite says, "No gifts," you should bring something. This is a Japanese custom known as omiyage and has been adopted by most locals. Food and drink are always good, but be creative - if you know the host/hostess love music, consider bringing a CD, sheet music or perhaps a custom mix. 

Try a little of everything - clean plate club is da rule!

During the course of the event, no be shy - if you don't know someone, introduce yourself!  If you're bad remembering names, you can refer to someone near your age as Braddah, "Sistah, or Cuz. Those older than you - "Uncle," or "Aunty." Children - keiki-lani.  As far as the age thing - never ask someone their age - just guesstimate!

Unless it's a kanikapila, where you stay all night to sing and play music, don't overstay your welcome - your host/hostess will need time to clean-up.  Offer your assistance in cleaning up, but don't be overly pushy - some folks have a specific clean-up system and you'll just be in the way.  If the host/hostess invites you to take some leftovers, comply.   They may not have enough room for all the food. Make sure you thank your host/hostess for the event and all their hard work!